Without wasting another moment-- or giving him the chance to actually take up her challenge to get off the bench of his own volition-- Vriska sprang into action. With the mightiest shove she could manage she barreled into Jake, sending him sprawling off the bench and onto the grass without a shred of eloquence.

Vriska cackled, standing over him ominously. "Are you gonna get up and go make something of yourself, or are you gonna lay there feeling sorry for yourself all day?" She poked his arm with her shoe impatiently. "Get up!"

She gave his arm another poke, continuing her shrill heckling. "Don't be a QUITTER! Get up off of that grass right now Jake! Don't be such a crybaby! You've got a Jane out there to mack on or whatever. Let's go kick Dirk's ass! I'm sure a good ass kicking will make you feel better." She giggled evilly, she was having a TON of fun helping Jake work through this funk. Who knew helping others could be so entertaining?