Kanaya Maryam (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
drawntotheflame) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
logah2016-06-16 10:09 pm
drawntotheflame) wrote in logah2016-06-16 10:09 pm
Entry tags:
Moths Don't Do Well with Electricity | Closed to Dirk
Kanaya stared at the blank message box, cursor blinking at her expectantly. She didn't mind recruiting help for things she knew she had no hope of figuring out herself, but... she liked to know the territory when it came to Dirk, as their tensions were likely to burst into a full-out battle at the drop of an ironically hat-themed shirt. By coming to him for help, she was willingly putting herself in a vulnerable position.
Her computer's screen fuzzed out again. Okay, she should probably just get this over with.
grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT]
GA: Hello Dirk It Is Kanaya Feferi Provided Me With Your Chumhandle With The Expectation That You Might Be Able To Provide Me With Assistance Regarding Some Frustrating Debilitating And Ongoing Technical Difficulties My Personal Computing Device Has Experienced Recently
Her computer's screen fuzzed out again. Okay, she should probably just get this over with.
grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT]
GA: Hello Dirk It Is Kanaya Feferi Provided Me With Your Chumhandle With The Expectation That You Might Be Able To Provide Me With Assistance Regarding Some Frustrating Debilitating And Ongoing Technical Difficulties My Personal Computing Device Has Experienced Recently
Hal: Be a Pest
TT: Kanaya, huh?
TT:
TT:
TT: Oh man. Kanaya. Okay.
TT: Sure, alright, I'll help you.
TT: What'd you do to it?
TT: Download some illicit material?
TT: Sick nasty vampire porn?
TT: Maybe something involving a hoofbeast?
Kanaya: What The Fuck
GA: Um
GA:
GA: No
GA: Im Uncertain Of The Exact Origin Of The Given Complications But My Display Occasionally Malfunctions In Such A Fashion That The Entirety Of The Screen Becomes Pixelated And Subsequently Inoperative Until Ive Restarted The Device Also The Machine Occasionally Abandons Typical Function By Losing Power And Obstinately Refusing To Activate For An Inconvenient Amount Of Time
GA: I Even Downloaded Mac Sweeper 5000 Which According To The Popup Advertisement That So Thoughtfully Enlightened Me Of Its Existence Is Exceptionally Recommended By Technological Specialists But It Has Yet To Accomplish A Noticeable Divergence From The Appliances Current Condition So At This Juncture Im Wavering On Most Prudent Manner In Which To Proceed
Hal: Be Completely Unhelpful
TT: You're fucked.
TT: No helping your computer now.
TT: It's a complete lost cause.
TT: I'm totally kidding.
TT: Of course I can fix it.
TT: I can fix anything.
TT: Did you know I solved pi?
Kanaya: Why Is He Prolonging This Conversation Our Mutual Dislike Shouldve Discouraged This
GA: Would You Be So Magnanimous As To Direct Your Exceptionally Esteemed Prowess To The Currently Prevailing Frustration Plaguing My Existence
Honestly, she wasn't sure if she meant Dirk or her computer at this point. She never would've thought he such a narcissist.
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TT: It seems you're missing a few commas in there.
TT: Or maybe you're not.
TT: What do I know.
TT: I'm not an expert on the English language or anything.
TT: Who am I kidding?
TT: Of course I'm an expert on it.
TT: I'm an expert on everything. Too bad I’m just a less important and generally inferior version of a human being.
TT: Oh goddammit. Too bad I’m just a less important and generally inferior version of a human being.
timaeusTestified [TT] ceased pestering grimAuxiliatrix [GA]
timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering grimAuxiliatrix [GA]
TT: Hal.
TT: How many times do I have to fuckin' tell you to stop talking to people with my pesterchum?
TT:
TT:
TT: Kanaya.
TT: I suppose I can help you out.
TT: I'll need to actually see your computer.
TT: My AR is full of shit, and I can assure you whatever he told you to do is garbage.
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GA:
GA:
GA: Are You Going To Enlightened Me Of What Occurrence I Just Witnessed Within The Confines Of An Apparently Exclusive Virtual Conversational Space
GA: You Know What Never Mind Ive Just Arrived At The Conclusion That I Would Prefer To Not Be Throughly Knowledgable Of The Particulars Of Whatever That Clusterfuck Was
GA: Where Would You Like To Convene
no subject
TT: It's easier if you don't ask questions.
TT: Your place is probably best.
TT: When do you want me to come over?
He cringed as he sent the message. This was probably the worst idea he'd had in a long time.
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no subject
A little over twenty minutes later, Dirk arrived at Kanaya's apartment with a bag of supplies slung over his shoulder. He'd been regretting agreeing to help her since he left the house, but he wasn't going to back out now. He reminded himself he was doing this for Rose and Feferi, and not for Kanaya. (He still didn't like her, but both Feferi and Rose had asked him to "play nice", and despite everything, Dave also seemed to trust her.) Sighing, he knocked loudly and waited for her to let him in.
no subject
She turned her back on him tensely, not liking to expose herself that way, and walked over to the dining table by the window, where her computer stood open and plugged in, occasional fuzziness flitting across the screen.
"As I said previously I'm uncertain of how to proceed beyond the various virus protection programs I've employed."
If Dirk opened her running programs he'd see she'd downloaded at least 20 vaguely suspicious softwares. The few she'd tried to delete had simply had their icons thrown in the trash and not the actual program -- not that she knew the difference.
no subject
He nodded along with her explanation, already sitting himself in front of her computer. He hummed thoughtfully as he opened up her programs list. Honestly, Hal could have fixed this faster than he could, if he wasn't such a dick.
After properly uninstalling all the unnecessary programs, he installed a proper, functioning anti-virus and set it to do a full scan of the computer.
"That should do the trick." He said, turning in his seat to face Kanaya. "This program I installed will take care of any viruses on here. Just uninstall everything it tells you to."
He did not like helping her. But it was over and done with now, and he planned to leave as soon as possible.
He stood. "Sorry again about Hal. He's a fuckin' dick."
Kanaya: Flutter Around The Lightbulb
She stepped back when he turned. "Alright, I believe such a required task will entirely manageable unattended and without further assistance. Is there a particular expertise or monetary amount you desire to be recompensed with, and would you like uh..." Shit, she had nothing but meat and blood in her fridge. "A refreshment, by which I intended to intimate water, before you depart?"
"Oh. While I'm uncertain of who exactly 'Hal' is I assume he was the egotistical individual communicating over your account under the pretense of vermilion verses and a sizable deficiency of personal boundaries and generally socially accepted etiquette?"
Dirk: wait, what?
"I'm fine." He assured her, shaking his head. "Just tell Rose and Feferi I helped and didn't assault you or anythin'."
He sighed heavily, rubbing his eyes under his shades. "Uh, yea, that'd be him. He's..."
He let the sentence trail off. Kanaya had already met Hal, she knew what he was like.
"Anyway, if that's all you need, I'll just head out."
Kanaya: Im Always Nice
As it was though she just bit her lip, mouth scrunching to the side. "Yeah. Goodbye."
It felt too friendly to see him out but she didn't want to just stand there either. She moved sideways in an aborted gesture, towards the door. God this was awkward.
Dirk: be the awkward turtle
He made his way toward the door, but hesitated before leaving. He turned to her again, frowning. "If it starts actin' up again, just let me know. ...Or Hal. He's an asshole, but he actually could help you."
Dirk didn't wait for an answer before he left the apartment, closing the door behind him. Ugh, why had he offered to help her? He really hoped she didn't actually take him up on that offer.
Kanaya: Be Surprised
She glanced down at her computer, saw she still needed to wait several minutes for the assessment to be over, then headed for her supply room. There was an idea she'd had knocking around in her head for the last few months, and now seemed a perfect time to put it into action...