my caffeine machine :'( - w4m w4w w4t (Skaia University Suburbs) | Closed to Dirk

[voidcats]

willin 2 pay MUCHO BUCKS to the next person that walks thru my door who can fix my dear, sweet, precious coffee maker

 

ur pay will be $50 and seein my hot self in a bathrobe as i waken from the slumberin dead w/o any way to fully grasp consciousness bc MY CAFFEINE MACHINE IS OOO

if youve got the necessary skillset 2 accomplish what im lookin 4 email me tipsyGnostalgic@trollian.com

• do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers

Comments

Dirk: sniffle

[coltblooded]

Dirk had started to sniffle almost as soon as he'd entered Roxy's apartment, but he'd brushed it off as nothing. However, the more time he'd spent there, the worse it became. He rubbed his eyes absentmindedly under his shades. Ugh, why were they starting to itch?

"I'll make sure to wear a trench coat if I'm ever here again." He assured her, not looking up from where he had the coffee machine mostly dismantled. He was wrapped up in his work, and didn't notice the approaching meowcats until one reached out and batted at the screwdriver tucked into the corner of his mouth. He glanced sidelong at it, as another rubbed up against his legs.

When he looked up from his work, he noticed there were several cats watching him work. It was a little unnerving, but more than that, the closer they got, the more his eyes started to itch. One of the cats stood on it's back legs, it's front paws braced against Dirk's shoulders, and rubbed it's little face against his. He thought it might have been cute, if it hadn't caused him to sneeze. Disgruntled, the cat meowed and retreated to Roxy's side for safety.

"Sorry-" He grumbled to himself, rubbing at his nose with the back of his hand. Deciding to ignore the cats, he turned back to his work.

"This thing is a piece of junk-" He complained as he started cleaning individual pieces and carefully putting them back together. He rubbed at his eyes again with one hand. "I didn't get your name."

Roxy: Provide assistance.

[voidcats]

Oh, uh. Jeez. Was he alright over there? Once Meowgris retreated to Roxy's side after the sneeze, she was instantly suspicious of the state of Dirk's immune system. As another cat began the painstaking process of climbing up the backs of his pants and shirt so it might claim a perch on Dirk's head, Roxy was in action, Meowgris clinging to one of her shoulders.

"Yeah, y'might wanna take a pass on the trench coat and invest in a hazmat suit instead baby," Roxy retorted, ducking out into the hallway for a moment to pop into the bathroom. The Benadryl was always within easy reach for occasions such as this, on account of the number of friends that spontaneously developed cat allergies after entering her house; after the bottle was procured (along with a wad of tissues) she returned to the kitchen just in time to hear Dirk's complaints and question.

"What, you tellin' me that I ain't a recognizable character straight out of your dreams?" She winked again, but busied herself with popping the top off of the Benadryl. Shaking out two of the bright pink pills, she offered them over, her extended hand suffering from a cat (looked like Morgan) bumping their head into it. "Swallow, don't spit. The name's Roxy, BTW; if that's too hard to remember or long or somethin', you can shorten it on down to Rox or Rolal or whatev's easiest for you to remember after dark."

Dude seemed to be losing his cool a bit; the cats could be an overwhelming force, after all. Sympathetic, Roxy used her free hand to open the fridge and reach into it, pulling out one of the many pretentious water bottles that she kept on hand specifically for hydrating the cats. She wasn't sure when she had become the kind of person who considered tap not good enough for the Snookums or visitors, but life had a funny way of twisting on her.

Dirk: ??

[coltblooded]

He had both hands shoved inside the coffee machine and he didn't look up when Roxy returned. There were a few loose wires, and he needed both hands to reach them, but it was a tight fit. He finally managed to reconnect the wires, and emerged with a triumphant little smile, only to find Roxy standing much closer than he remembered, and a furry face rubbing against his cheek.

Dirk frowned, confused as he tried to catch up. He tended to space out while he was working, and it sometimes took him long moments to recover. "Why are you offerin' me drugs?"

The cat on his shoulder dug it's claws in as it shifted, and Dirk hissed. "Ow- Would you get off?" He muttered, but the animal just rubbed more insistently against his cheek, purring lowly. When he sneezed again, the cat startled and jumped onto the counter, giving him a look he could only describe as annoyed.

Roxy: How does a dude go his whole life without knowing he's allergic to goddamn CATS.

[voidcats]

"'Cause after the Benadryl knocks you out, I'm totes plannin' on lockin' you in a tower for 100 years til some hot tater tot comes along to awaken you with a kiss born out of some real ill-placed somnophilia." Roxy rolled her eyes before brandishing both water bottle and Benadryl again. "Do I LOOK like I've got some sweet fairy tale magic powers stuffed into the cuttin' angles of this coat? NO."

(The pumpkin patch outside would contest this fact. Roxy staunchly ignored its existence, as she always did.)

"It seems to me that you're sufferin' from an acute case of bein' allergic to furries. A goddamn TRAGEDY, but it ain't life-threatenin' unless you're huge enough a dumbass to let it progress into anaphylaxis. Which is what the Benadryl is for." Roxy leaned on the counter, flicking her chin so her bangs revealed her raised brows. "Unless you WANT me to drive you to the hospital for emergency care? Call me a bleedin' heart, but I don't want the hot dude I just met to kick the bucket just 'cause he didn't know he was allergic to his fellow mammals."

[coltblooded]

Oh. It was just bendadryl. For the cat allergy he apparently didn't know about until this moment.

"Oh. Right." He accepted the water and pills with an apologetic smile. He really needed to remember not to space out around relative strangers. He down the pills along with half the bottle of water. (He didn't make a face at the taste, but he wanted to. Why did bottled water always taste so weird?)

"You sayin' you're gonna watch over me like some fuzzy pink dragon?" He asked, finally catching up with what she'd said before. "Don't worry about me. I got myself a knight in ironic armor and a water witch at home."

And they'd rescued him once before.

[voidcats]

A tiny knot of tension released in Roxy's gut; she hadn't realized at first how much his assumption had shaken her. Occupational hazards of being a reborn straightedge, she guessed. At least they were clear on her intent now.

Habit made sure that she observed him swallowing to make sure that the pills actually went down; animals could be pretty sneaky about hiding things in their mouth instead of pulling the medicine down their esophagus.

Dirk wasn't an animal, though. Roxy raised her hand to pat at Meowgris, who continued purring along in her ear. "Shit, yeah. If we're mismatchin' legends to THAT extent, then why don't I steal from some fuckin' selkies and make the bathrobe my skin? While everyone's busy lookin' for a great big beast, here I am runnin' around without the hide on to keep my guardianship on the down low."

Cracking a grin, Roxy lifted her chin up, amusement in her voice. "Considerin' the fact that you totes almost just died to my cats here, I'm thinkin' the amount of lookin' after you actually need is higher than you were previously understandin' it to be."

[coltblooded]

Dirk rolled his eyes behind his shades as he set his water bottle down on the counter. He turned back to the coffee machine, which was now mostly reassembled, and got back to work.

"I never had a pet." He told her with a shrug. "How was I supposed to know I'm allergic to them?"

He gently nudged another cat out of the way when it came closer to inspect what he was doing. The rest of the assembly was slow going, as several more cats came to investigate one by one, but eventually he finished.

"That should do it." He told Roxy, turning to face her again. "Give it a shot."

Roxy: Sip on some sweet java.

[voidcats]

The fact that he hadn't been aware implied more than just a lack of pets in his household growing up; plenty of households with kids had their young charges being reared alongside a beloved pet of some sort, and for Dirk to have apparently not visited any at such length that he would pick up on a pattern of sniffling was telling.

No point in saying anything about it, though.

Rather, Roxy set Meowgris upon the counter (she had long since given up trying to train the cats out of perching up there) and grabbed the coffee grounds on top of the fridge. Whether or not this drew Dirk's attention to the rifle just kind of chilling out there, Roxy couldn't say; rather, she hip-bumped him out of the way of her caffeine machine to begin scooping and leveling. After closing it back up and pressing the button, it seemed in place.

Marveling, Roxy said, "Damn. If that ain't a fifty dollar job, I'm gonna have to call up the bank and have 'em reevaluate the state of the economy at wide. Thanks to the sign you gave 'em, we're avertin' another crash in favor of readjustin' inflation. Talk about modern-day superheroes."

[coltblooded]

Dirk had actually noticed the gun when he'd first walked into the kitchen, but he'd ignored it then and he was ignoring it again as Roxy reached for the coffee on top. He and Dave had swords mounted on their wall. A rifle didn't seem too out of place to him.

He watched as she pressed start on the machine, making sure it was actually doing it's job. Satisfied that it was, he started to pack up his things.

"Don't mention it. What kind of superhero would I be if I didn't help a damsel in distress? Caffeine withdrawals are nothing to joke about."

He already had plans to replace her entire coffee machine (the one she was using was a piece of junk, and just looking at it disappointed him), but he didn't mention it. He'd surprise her with it when it was done. Maybe Feferi would deliver it for him...

Dirk slung his bag over his shoulder and, carefully stepping around the cats, made his way back to the front door. "If you need help with anythin' else, you have my pesterchum."

[voidcats]

Roxy tailed after him as he slipped on by; with the bathrobe snagged in hand, she was quick to slide the garment around the strap of his bag, leaving it to secretly dangle in all its pink, fluffy glory. Whether or not he returned it, at least she wouldn't have to deal with her cats trying to attack the hem.

"And if I ain't mistaken, you're also totin' the possession of mine around on whatever device you got that connects with messagin'." Roxy kept a close eye to make sure no cats ran outside, and ended up crowding the crack of the front door with her leg to make sure no curious heads popped out while she saw Dirk off.

"If you wanna come back and test your immunity against the cats any time, you're welcome to." Roxy leaned against the door frame, giving him a grin as she raised a hand. "Seriously, don't be a stranger! I'm sure we've got more mysterious things in common than a disdain for broken coffee makers." With another wave, Roxy ducked back into her house, carefully battling friendly cats all the way.